


In search of destiny

by Jankis



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dragons, Essos, F/M, Jon Snow is a Targaryen, Magic, R Plus L Equals J, Valyria
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:02:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27441625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jankis/pseuds/Jankis
Summary: A story where Jon Snow doesn't go to the nights watch, but to Essos in search for an ordinary life. Yet there is much more waiting for him...
Relationships: Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen
Comments: 29
Kudos: 70





	1. A bastard

It was night and Jon was in his solar, thinking about the words he heard from the dwarf this evening:

“Never forget what you are bastard, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.”

He had to admit, Tyrion’s words were something he wasn’t used to hearing, but it wouldn’t change his view of how the world was.

It is full of shit and cruelty.

Yet he still counts himself lucky.

He was sired by the great Lord Eddard Stark, who was the Warden of the north and held the reputation of one of the most honorable man in the seven kingdoms.

He grew up with Robb, Sansa, Arya, Bran and Rickon, who were all great siblings that treated him fairly (though Sansa was cold most of the time, but he couldn’t blame her for trusting her mother).

He had a roof over his head, siblings, education from various teachers. These were things that very few people had in their lives.

Yet he still feels out of place.

Living in Winterfell would’ve been great if it was not for Lady Catelyn. Jon couldn’t blame her for loving her children and not him, yet he still wanted to hate her for all of the misdeeds she put on him. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t see from her point of view, raising a bastard which your husband sired in the midst of a war must be tough, especially when you were raised to believe in The Seven, who taught about the darkness which lurked in every single bastard.

Hate would do him nothing, while avoidance would. Years ago he decided that it would be best to not excell Robb at anything, or it would bring him punishments from Lady Catelyn which he did very much not want. So years passed by and now he was six and ten. Nearly a man.

And now Jon knew it was his time to leave Winterfell. His first thoughts were of the Nights watch. But his conversation with uncle Benjen seemed to make him think about it:

"You don’t understand what you’d be giving up. We have no families, none of us will ever father sons"

"I don’t care about that

"You might, if you know what it meant."

In the nights watch he wouldn’t be The Bastard of Winterfell, he’d be simply Jon Snow, and there he could make a name for himself.

But he’d be living among thieves and rapists, whom would be later called his brothers. He’d be fighting wildlings, whom are simply people stuck on the wrong side of the wall. And does he want that? No.

There is always something he wanted to do all his life - find his destiny. Going to the nights’ watch would make him swear vows, and he’d be stuck with them for the rest of his days. He certainly wouldn’t enjoy his fate.

But besides the nights’ watch, there was something he was thinking about since he was ten and three - going to Essos. There are a lot of things he could find himself doing there: being a guard at Braavos, hiring himself as a mercenary or even finding a simple job at the docks. There he could find a new beginning to his life and be ordinary.

But the thoughts of his family made him sad. Leaving father, Robb, Arya, Bran, Rickon and even Sansa and Theon would leave a dent in his heart which wouldn’t be fixed for the rest of his life.

But did he have a choice? His siblings would probably say that he could become a commander to Robb’s armies when his father would leave South to become hand of the king, but then he’d be forcing to choose Robb between him and his mother, and that is something he wouldn’t wish upon anyone. Besides, Lady Catelyn has probably already demanded his father that he should be leaving her home already. And he was planning to do just that.


	2. Brothers and sisters

The next day Jon awoke, he thought if he should tell everyone of his decision to go east. He didn’t know if father would approve or not, whilst without a doubt father would be disappointed, Jon’s leaving would be of no significance to his house, he’s just a bastard after all.

Uncle Benjen would probably encourage him going because of our conversation yesterday, but it's sad leaving him without a relative nearby.

Telling Robb would be painful since we shared our childhood and did almost everything together. Even though there were times I felt jealousy for him, I still couldn’t ask for a better brother.

Abandoning Bran and Rickon would be sad, they would ask that I share the story of my journeys with them when I come back, but that will likely not happen.

But the person I dread the most telling about my journey is Arya. I have no doubts that she’ll either try to go with me, or break my legs so that I couldn’t leave. My little sister is a fiery soul, hard to control, fierce and immovable. But despite all of those attributes, we share a connection which runs as deep as weirwood roots. Leaving her would leave a hole in both of our hearts, but still, life must move on. Besides, I have a gut feeling that I’d meet her someday in my journeys, since I can’t imagine her sitting still in a keep married off to some lord.

Sansa and Theon would probably not even give a shit about it. And I’m sure Lady Catelyn would be very glad.

It is three days before King Robert goes back to Kings Landing, the King’s journey was successful, he got his best friend Ned Stark to be his hand and managed to betroth Sansa to Joffrey. There are no doubts about my father being a great hand, however I’m pretty sure that he’ll be running the seven kingdoms while the fat king whores and drinks himself to death. 

However Joffrey’s betrothal to Sansa is one that I’m mostly concerned about. I have no doubts about Sansa being a great wife and lady. It is Joffrey which I don’t like. During this whole time it seemed like he only acted as a charming prince to Sansa whilst everyone else got the treatment of shit.

Jon ponders about it a little more and starts preparing for the day.

The day goes like usual where he stalks off to the kitchen to sneak some food to his chambers. Later on he goes to join the usual morning sparring held in the courtyard between him, Robb and Theon.

The mood of the morning is already ruined by seeing that annoying smirk on Theon’s face. 

“Came here to get your arse kicked Snow?”

“No, came here to put your ugly face in the dirt like I always do”

That seemed to do the trick as Theon’s smirk turned into a glare.

Robb chuckled at both of them and said “Shall we begin?”

……

……

The sparring session ends up like it usually does - with Theon’s foolish lunges and then getting his face buried in the dirt by both Jon and Robb, followed up by an intense, fast paced battles between Jon and Robb. Their duels usually end up by Robb winning because his stamina is a little better than Jon’s.

After they put their swords in the scabbards Jon asks Robb:

“Do you know where father is?”

“He’s probably in the great hall with the king and his family, you need something from him?”

“Aye, I need to talk to him, privately”

Robb looked at him with a skeptical eye. “Alright, he’ll meet you in his chambers”

Jon heads towards his fathers chambers and ponders: ‘Should i only tell father today? I could tell everyone else tomorrow or the day before we leave, that would surely leave me with less headaches about Arya.’

Moments later his Father arrives and bids him towards his chambers. They both sit near the writing desk and Ned sees the anxious eyes of Jon.

“Something’s the matter?”

“Aye father, I’ll be leaving winterfell along with you.”

Ned looked at him with a smile. “You’ll be going with Benjen?”

Jon looked at him even more anxiously “No father. I’ve decided to go east, I want to take a ship from White harbor to Braavos.”

Ned looked at him with a confused look. “Essos?, what do you plan to do there?”

“I don’t know, I’ll figure something out, father.”

“Didn’t you want to join the Night’s watch?”

“I did, but I’ve reconsidered. I feel like there’s nothing for me to do on this side of the world. While the night’s watch is always a great path for a bastard, I do not wish to be chained to vows and live with thieves and rapists, Essos seems like a better option for me.”

Ned looked at him with a pained smile. “Alright son, whatever’s the best for you, I’ll support it.”

He smiled at his father. “Could you tell about my decision to everyone at dinner? I have to prepare a gift for Arya.”

“Of course, though I’m afraid that Arya will cause a big ruckus at the table”

They both chuckled. Then he nodded. “I’ll see you soon father”

He then started going towards Winterfell’s forge to see if Mikken has finished the sword he commissioned for Arya.

He walked up to the forge and saw Mikken. “Excuse me ser, is the gift for my sister ready?”

Mikken glanced at him and nodded. He retrieved Arya’s thin sword and gave it to Jon. “I’m sure Lady Stark will be poking Ser Rodrik with holes in no time”

He smiled. “Aye, I’m sure she will”.

He then went on to his solar to take a quick nap.

…..  
…..  
…..  
“Jon” , “JON!”

He bolted awake at the sound of someone shouting his name, to find Robb, Bran and Rickon near his bed.

All of them had a pained and sad expression on their faces. Bran was the first to speak.

“Is it true, are you really going to Essos?”

“Aye Bran, it is time I left.”

“But why Jon? Can’t you stay here any longer?”

“No, I’m sorry Bran, but I need to go.”

Bran looked sad and then Robb looked at him with a sad smile.

“What kind of adventures await you in the east, Brother?”

He looked at him with a joking smile and said “I’m planning on going to Lys, brother, to enjoy my time there.”

Robb looked at him with upturned eyebrows and chuckled. “Aye, you’ll finally get some action”.

Rickon had a confused look on his face and asked: “Lys? Where is that and what is it like?”

Jon smiled and ruffled Rickon’s hair. “It’s to the west of volantis, though I’m not sure what I would find there.”

Bran chimed in and asked: “When will you come back?”

Jon tried to ignore the pang in his heart. “Someday, little brother.”

They went on about questioning him about an hour or so till father requested their presence at the great hall.

Jon was left to brood in his solar until an hour later Arya arrived to his chamber.

She looked like she was seething with anger and sadness at the same time.

“Is it true Jon? Are you abandoning us?”

He looked at her with a pained expression. “No Arya, I’m not abandoning you, you’ll always be my family, but it is time I left Winterfell.”

“Is it because of mother?”

Jon tried not to look guilty and said: “No Arya, I need to find my own path, forge a new name besides The Bastard of Winterfell.”

“How can you say that, you’re way more than that!” Arya snapped.

“Other people don’t see that way, sister”

“It doesn’t matter how or what they see! You’re the greatest brother there is!”

Jon smiled painfully. “And you’re the best little sister there will ever be”

Arya tried to suppress a smirk. “I’m not little”

“But you are”

“Are not!”

“Are is”

She wanted to continue their joust, however Jon interrupted her and started walking towards the trunk near his desk. “Come, I have a gift for you.”

She seemed surprised and walked towards him.

He pulled out her sword and presented it to her.

She had a big ‘O’ expression on her face and started smiling.

“This is no toy, be careful, and you won’t cut yourself”

“It’s so thin”

“So are you. You won’t hack a head off, but you can surely poke him full of holes. Do you know the one and only rule?”

She smiled and said: “Stick em with the pointy end?”

Jon laughed. “Aye, that’s the one. All the swords have names, you know?”

Arya seemed to think about a moment. “Sansa can have her sewing needles, and I’ll have my Needle.”

Jon chuckled. “Make sure to practice everyday and you’ll become Visenya”

She grinned, put the sword in the scabbard and eloped Jon in a big hug.

“I’ll miss you Jon”

“Me too Arya, me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know ur thoughts, this is my first fic! :)


	3. Chapter 3

Days passed by and it was finally time to leave Winterfell. Jon was readying his horse to travel south to the kingsroad with the kings party.

“You know, you’ll always be welcome here in winterfell” Jon turned towards the source of the voice to find Robb flashing him a smile.

“I know, Robb, but I believe we both know what other people think”

Robb’ grimaced. “Doesn’t matter what those fuckers think, I’ll change their minds.”

Jon sighed. “We already talked about this, I’m going.”

“Will we see you someday?”

“I don’t know, but if there’s a chance, I’ll make sure to come back.”

Robb’s frown turned into a smile. “You better visit Lys and tell me about every technique you learn there.”

Jon chuckled. “I’ll think about that.” 

Robb then pulled him into a brotherly embrace. “Farewell Snow.”

He smiled. “And you Stark.”

He then leapt on his horse and left Winterfell, not looking back again.

….  
….  
….

The journey along with the king’s party was rather dull. Arya was unusually quiet, no doubt sad about Jon leaving and pissed having Sansa as company to King’s Landing. The royalty and his father’s family rode in the front of the party, while he had to stay back at least 30 yards behind. The soldiers beside him were quiet, but he preferred it that way. Besides, Ghost was great company. Jon felt like he had a connection with him. Both him and his direwolf were outcasts, their fates sealed as soon as they were born. Ghost also felt like an extension of his personality : quiet, protective and loyal. He didn’t know if taking the direwolf with him to the south is a good idea, but Ghost didn’t seem to mind it.

During all of his musings, the party stopped and proceeded to make camp for the night. He started to prepare his tent and then saw father striding towards him.

“How are you faring with the soldiers?”

“Great, though they’re not the talkative type, but that’s actually a preference.”

Ned smiled. “Any change of plans?”

“No, father, Braavos seems like the only option so far.”

His father seemed to contemplate his thoughts for a minute. “I actually have another suggestion for you.”

“Oh?”

“Aye, I’ve heard Pentos has a lot more jobs than Braavos.”

“Really?

“Yes, the amount of people that live in Pentos is a lot less than Braavos, therefore a lot more opportunities for you.”

“Hmm, alright, but do you know anything that I could do there?.

“Well, that’s for you to find out, you’ll have a lot of time to figure that out on your ship”. Ned then seemed to think about it. “Though, there is a job that you could apply for there.”

“What job?”

“A guard.”

“A guard? Whom would I protect?”

“Daen-”. Ned then suddenly stopped and looked panicked.

“What is it?”

“You know, actually, nevermind. Once you’ll land there, just ask the people what they can offer you, I’m sure you’ll find something.”

Jon shot his father a skeptical look and nodded. “When will we part ways?”

“In two days, once we reach the Neck’s borders, you can go east to White Harbor.”

Jon nodded. “Arya doesn’t seem happy up on the front, can I ride with her?”

Ned laughed. “Of course, I’ll try to arrange it.” He then looked towards his side of the camp and said: “Seems like I should be going back, good night Jon.”

“Father, there’s one more thing.”

“Yes, son?”

Jon then inhaled and asked the question that has bothered him his entire life: “Is my mother alive? Does she know where I am or where I’m going? Does she care?”

Ned had a look of pain and grieve on his face. “It - it is complicated, son, but know this, she would love you with all her heart and soul. Good night son.”

Those answers didn’t satisfy him. In fact, even more questions arose. ‘Would?’ Is she dead? How did she die?. However, he knew that probing his father for anything more was pointless. So Jon decided to forgo this conversation and said: “Good night, father.”

…..  
…..  
…..

Two days passed by, and then Jon said his goodbyes to everyone and parted ways. Traveling to White Harbor would take him at least a fortnight. He’d have to stop at inns to take his rest, since sleeping out in the open on this countryside would surely make him a delicious treat for bandits.

It was evening, and just like he expected, it took him two weeks to reach his destination. Jon then entered the city of white harbor and examined his surroundings. ‘These people sure do like fish.’ Every direction he looked, there seemed to be at least one person selling salty tunas and salmons. The air smelled of fish too.

Jon then proceeded to ride through the city and straight to the docks. He then got of his horse and went to meet the person who looked like docks’ manager. “Excuse me sir?”

The fairly aged man looked at him and asked. “Looking for something, lad?”

“Aye, a ship to Pentos.”

The man then pointed towards the ship called ‘The maiden’. “Go talk to that ships’ captain, he’s leaving for Pentos at first light tomorrow.”

Jon then walked to the captain and managed to broker a deal with him by selling his horse and giving him 5 gold dragons.

The next morning came and Jon departed White Harbor, finally leaving Westeros.

He was sailing towards the unknown, he felt some dread, but was excited for the most part.

He could finally make a name for himself, and be truly free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fic will be about Jon's expedition in Essos, the story in westeros will be show compliant. I'm pretty sure you all know to whom will meet soon:)


End file.
